Will Mobile Phones Destroy the
Upated 1200GMT (see below)
A shock report out this week will show
that mobile phones present a bigger threat to the environment
than anyone has imagined - in fact, it states that continued
use of mobile handsets will lead to the extinction
of all life on Earth.
The claim seems outrageous, but it is
backed by solid scientific prove that shows that the
next text message you send could be responsible for
the end of civilisation as we know it.
The work by Professor Frühling Dummkopf
of the Luton Institute of Astronomical Research is the
first in its field, and it examines the interaction
of small bodies such as asteroids, meteors and comets
in close earth orbit with the effective of the electromagnetic
fields generated by modern cellular devices.
We interviewed Professor Dummkopf about
these claims in a Mobile Gazette exclusive.
MG: Professor Dummkopf - it seems
to us that mobile phones are very tiny things and asteroids
are quite big things that are a very long way away.
Are you saying that the two can interact?
Professor: Yes, although of course
it takes more than one mobile phone to destroy the earth!
MG: So, explain the problem for
the benefit of our readers.
Professor: It is really very
simple. Most asteroids are primarily carbonaceous or
silicaceous with a much smaller number of metallic asteroids.
Out of this last group, a number of objects seemed to
MG: Such as?
Well, 21 Lutetia is probably one you've heard
of. That one had been puzzling us for a long time because
we couldn't classify it.. however careful observation
and research has lead us to believe that it is primarily
made from a crystalline Scandium based alloy which forms
remarkably regular superlattices that measure 0.3331
metres across, so you can see the problem straight away.
MG: Go on.
Professor: Well of course, 0.3331
metres is the wavelength of a signal broadcast at 900 MHz.
And it's twice the wavelength of a signal broadcast
at 1800 MHz. These are the most common frequencies used
by mobile phones. Put simply, we discovered that
the structure of the superlattice "tuned in"
to mobile phone signals.
MG: So aliens are listening to
our phone conversations?
Professor: That would be silly,
but what we did discover is that the resonance of the
radio signals is causing electromagnetic induction in
bodies such as 21 Lutetia which has the effect
of shifting their orbits. That orbital shift is actually
towards the earth. You could say the the earth has been
charged up like a giant magnet and is pulling the bodies
MG: You said bodies, do
you mean that there's more than one?
Professor: Yes, in fact [mobile
phone rings] Sorry, I'd better get this. Hello?
Yes, I'll be home at about seven o'clock. Yes, pasta
will be fine. I've got to go. Errr.. where were we..
oh yes, we think that about 0.01% of small bodies in
the solar system exhibit this property. That doesn't
sound like much, but there are between one and two million
bodies over one kilometre in size.. so that's about
one or two hundred objects, some of which will be quite
close to us. And 21 Lutetia is about 100 kilometres
across. If that hits, then basically the earth is toast.
MG: So we're all going to die?
MG: So there's no chance you
Professor: We don't think so,
although we did have to make certain assumptions. For
example, the growth in mobile phone ownership over the
past 25 years has been around 20,000 fold. If we assume
the same rate of growth, by 2032 there will be 40 trillion
handsets in use on the earth. That could present a serious
MG: Indeed Professor Dummkopf
- we'd like to thank you and the institute for your
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